Look How We've Changed
by Star of CCTV
Summary: Alex and George discuss their feelings about Izzie's illness.


_This is just a short story continuing George and Alex talking at Joes in the episode Sweet Surrender. It's kind of been annoying me that George hasn't been making much of an effort with Izzie on the show, so this goes into that a bit. Please Review._

_Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters or the dialogue from Greys this is purely for fun.  
_

George was sitting in Joes waiting looking into his beer. He never was the kind of guy who felt comfortable in bars. He liked Joes but it was a place he would go with his friends to have fun but not to relax. Today however was different. Today his best friend had cancer and despite all his efforts he could not go into her room and talk to her. Maybe it was a fear of seeing her sick, seeing her receiving treatment which would attack her body and be painful or maybe it was because he felt guilty. He knew something was wrong with Izzie for ages but he did not do enough.

Suddenly he felt someone beside him and saw Alex take the stool next to him.

"You kicked ass today O'Malley. You kicked my ass." Alex said after a few moments.

"Just doing what I had to do." George replied quickly, he really did not want Alex to join him.

"No, no you kicked ass." Alex responded honestly as George pinched his earlobe and listened. "I'm not like that, I'm good but I'm not like you, I'm not good under pressure." After a few moments Alex continued his voice unable to hide how upset he was. "She's really sick, really sick and I'm not good under pressure."

George did not know what to say so he pushed his beer over to Alex and ordered another. For a few moments they sat in silence before Alex spoke up.

"I was going to run."

"What?" George asked as a beer was placed in front of him.

"A few weeks ago, when Izzie was teaching the inturns and testing them and stuff, she was acting really strange and she kept telling me she was fine and that everything was ok but I knew it was not." He took a deep breath and continued. "Addison was here and I just thought she left. She left Seattle and everything behind her, her divorce, Derek, Mark, me and when she was back she looked great so I figured it worked for her so maybe it would work for me. I could run away from Izzie because I knew something was going to happen. I just didn't think it would be cancer. I still want to run." He said sadly as he stared into his beer.

"What made you stay?" George asked.

"Izzie." He replied without looking at George because right now he was going to do the most unmanly thing he could do and confess his feelings to George. "I love her so much. Running was not really an option because it would mean I would lose her and I didn't want that so I stayed and hoped it was just some weird phase. But now I could lose her anyway and I don't know what to do. I can't lose her."

"At least you can visit her. I can't bring myself to go into her room and I don't know why. I have so many regrets. We are not as close as we used to be and when she got with you I backed off and now I don't know how to stop backing off." George replied after a few moments of silence.

"You need to go visit her. She misses you. And you're not the only one who had a problem going to see her. When Derek operated on her I wasn't even there. I didn't see her before the operation I just went around accusing Derek of being a bad Doctor." Alex said finding himself growing more comfortable talking to George as the time passed. They both loved Izzie. "George she needs you and I actually need you, like I said your good under pressure and I needed to learn to be great under this type of pressure."

George looked at Alex and studied him. He could not believe that the man sitting on the stool beside him was the same cocky inturn he had started work with. Alex who had plastered Izzie's modelling photos around the locker room and who had given him syphilis was sitting next to him asking for his help. Suddenly he was burning with guilt.

"I told Izzie that she was to good for you." He said as Alex just shrugged.

"Yeah I think everyone told her that." He admitted.

"No I mean recently I told her to dump you. When she got back with you so soon after the whole Ava thing I figured you were just using her and I was just waiting for you to hurt her again and I'd be there to pick up the pieces again. But then you didn't treat her badly, you did the opposite and you fell for her. Well I mean it was always obvious that you were into her but you actually really love her. And I didn't like it so I told her. It's not that I want to get back with Izzie, I'll always love her but only as a friend so I wasn't trying to get her back or anything." George said quickly as he could see Alex getting tense.

"She got really mad at me. What I'm trying to say is that you've changed, your great for her and she really really loves you." George finished.

"Do you think so?" Alex asked "She says she loves me and I believe her I just don't think she loves me like she loved Denny."

"No she loves you more than she loved Denny. It's a different kind of love. Denny's gone so it's different."

"She saw Denny. Her tumour made her see Denny and she told me and I just ignored it." Alex said angrily. "There were all these signs and all I did was ask if she was ok, I never made sure she was ok."

"We all dropped the ball. We all saw something was up but Izzie did things her way, she would have hated us if we pushed her." George said.

"Yeah I guess." Alex agreed as he lifted his glass to his lips and took a deep gulp. "I can't go home to Meredith's without her. I can't go home it would be too lonely. So I stay in the hospital with her but I'm so terrified that if I leave something will happen. She collapsed earlier and I didn't hear about it for two hours. And sitting here I want to get up and go see her but I'm so terrified of what I'll find when I get back."

"And I'm just terrified of going in there at all. By avoiding it I feel like it's not happening and I can't stop thinking about it." George continued. "She told Cristina, I just don't understand that."

Alex shrugged, "Maybe it was easier for her that way. I'm glad she told Cristina. If Izzie had told me I probably would have ran or something stupid. And honestly you would have reacted really badly too. We would have panicked and probably scared her even more than she already is. She's amazing, I can see she's terrified her eyes show it, but she tries so hard not to show it. All I do is worry, she's throwing herself into organising the wedding but I can see she's terrified she won't even be there to see it." Alex stopped realizing he had just said out loud his biggest fear. "She'd be proud if she could see us now getting along. You are one of the best Doctors in Seattle Grace, you're not 007 anymore and Izzie needs you."

"I know, first thing tomorrow I'm going to go see her but Alex she needs you more. Don't feel guilty because you considered running, you didn't and I was totally wrong about you. You're great for her."

Alex nodded suddenly wondering why he had not just sat down with George before and sorted things out. Maybe they would even become friends and not just for Izzie's sake. He was half way through his drink, when he was finished he'd go back to the hospital to see Izzie. But for now he'd get to know George a little better.

"So did you see the game last night?" he asked.


End file.
